


I Don't Miss You

by UltravioletSunshine



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Formula 2 RPF
Genre: Break Up, Hurt No Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29050983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltravioletSunshine/pseuds/UltravioletSunshine
Summary: Callum was sitting in the airport when it hit him. He’s sitting in an airport, having been away from his boyfriend for two weeks, and he realizes he doesn’t miss Marcus.Callum breaks up with Marcus after realizing he doesn't miss him anymore
Relationships: Marcus Armstrong/Callum Ilott
Kudos: 22





	I Don't Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't like what I write just exit the page and go about your day. I do this for free and it's called fiction for a reason. The title and the inspiration for this fic comes from the song I don't miss you by Jake Scott. I was also listening to out of love by Alessia Cara so it's just a sad-ass fic. Anyway, I made myself cry writing this and I hope you all enjoy it!

Callum was sitting in the airport when it hit him. He was sitting next to Mick, listening to some of the other boys talk about how much they missed their girlfriends, not really paying attention until he hears someone mention they still get butterflies when they see her name pop up when she calls. 

His head snaps up, suddenly much more interested in the conversation. How they still get sweaty palms and trip over their words because they still feel nervous. They get a look in their eyes, dreamy and far off, a shy smile on their face remembering something she did. And Callum, Callum just feels like shit. He’s sitting in an airport, having been away from his boyfriend for two weeks, and he realizes he doesn’t miss Marcus. 

In fact, he hasn’t even thought about Marcus unless the other texted him, and even then, he blamed not responding right away on being busy. A far cry from how he was when they first got together. He doesn’t miss Marcus. He is more excited to see his baby, Poppy, than he is to see his boyfriend. He’s more excited to go to sleep in his own bed than he is to see Marcus. Callum is so wrapped up in his thoughts he doesn’t notice they’re boarding until Mick is shaking his shoulder to get his attention. 

Callum moves in a daze, still processing how he went from talking to Marcus every day, butterflies in his stomach, and holding him like he was worth gold to this. When did Marcus go from his favorite person, his best friend, to being the person he forgot? When did excitement become contentment to indifference? Questions are still rolling around his head when he arrives at their apartment. The biggest one, how was he going to tell Marcus he doesn’t love him anymore. 

Callum doesn’t love him anymore. 

Because that’s what this means, right? That Callum doesn’t love him. They work so well together, but Marcus isn’t in Callum’s plans anymore. When he thinks about the future, Marcus isn’t there. It used to be their future. Both of them are standing on podiums, trophies in the air covered in champagne. It was slow dancing in their apartment’s kitchen even when they got older, and Marcus would still crush his toes. They would get married, a big wedding with all their friends and family, Poppy would be their flower girl. But that’s not what he pictures now. He sees a future on the podium’s top step, but Marcus isn’t there. He pictures home in England and running around the garden with Poppy even though his joints hurt. 

He doesn’t love Marcus anymore. And what scares him the most is that this fact doesn’t bother him as much as it should. He doesn’t love Marcus anymore, and instead of sadness, instead of anger and tears, he feels lighter. 

Callum knows he has to tell Marcus, and it has to be now. He still cares for Marcus, and he deserves better than to be strung along by him in a loveless relationship. He just needs to rip the bandaid off, it is going to be awful, but he needs to do it. 

When he walks in, Marcus is sitting on the couch, curled up beneath a blanket and Poppy at his feet. A sight that once made his heart hurt, filled with so much joy and affection, now is just another reminder of what’s to come. He knows it’s written all over his face when Marcus’s bright smile dims, and he moves to stand up, to hug him. 

But before he can, Callum speaks in a rush, “We need to talk. I have something I need to tell you.” Marcus looks confused but sits back down, watching Callum walk over to him and sit down. Callum licks his lips and takes a breath, sorting through the mess of his mind to pick the right words. Marcus reaches over and grabs his hand.

“Whatever is going on, you can tell me. You’re my best friend, and we can figure-” 

“I don’t miss you,” Callum blurts out, cutting off Marcus. 

“I’m right here of course you don’t miss me,” he says, trying to understand what Callum is trying to tell him. 

“No, Marcus. I-I didn’t miss you when I was gone,” Callum says, looking up from his lap, and Marcus’s reaction is heartbreaking. He looks shocked, mouth open, frozen as he processes what Callum means. After a few moments, Callum hears a soft “oh,” and when he looks back at Marcus, he can see tears gather in his eyes. He bits at his bottom lip and blinks, trying not to cry in front of Callum as he pulls his hand away. 

“Look, Marcus, let me explain, please. The boys were talking about their girlfriends this afternoon, and I realized I don’t miss you when I’m not around you anymore. I’m not jumping every time my phone goes off because I think it’s you. I didn’t have trouble falling asleep even though you weren’t there with me. I’m so sorry, Marcus, but I don’t love you anymore,” He finishes, not taking his eyes off Marcus. While Callum was talking, he held it together, listening to him explain why Callum is shattering his heart. Silent tears roll down his cheeks when Callum says he doesn’t love him anymore. Callum moves to comfort him but stops himself. He can’t do that anymore. Marcus isn’t his anymore. Callum was the reason he was crying. 

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I need to tell you the truth; you deserve that. We are perfect on paper, two best friends who fell in love. We just went together, and it was easy. You made me smile like no one else, but something changed,” Callum was cut off from what he was going to say next. 

“When did you fall out of love with me?” Marcus asks quietly. 

“Oh umm, I don’t know. I guess I’ve been feeling this way for a while,” Callum stumbles over his words, not really expecting that question. 

When Marcus looks up, the tears are still running down his face, but he looks almost angry. “Before or after you and Mick became best friends? Before or after you decided you liked spending time with him more than me? Before or after you wore his clothes? Huh?” he bites out, and Callum is once again thrown by the words coming out of Marcus’s mouth. 

“I-What are you talking about? I didn’t cheat on you with Mick! Mick has nothing to do with this! This is about how I feel indifferent to our relationship,” Callum says and is just more confused. 

“Was it something I did?” Marcus sounds small again like all the anger disappeared from his body went as fast as it came. 

“No, no, you didn’t do anything,” Callum says, still not knowing what to say to make Marcus feel better. 

“It’s like,” he stops and begins again, “Don’t you feel like something is missing? We both deserve better than good enough, better than perfect on paper. We deserve an epic romance, but this isn’t it. You deserve better than me being content. You deserve someone who thinks the stars are in your eyes and holds you so close at night. And I can’t do that for you. I’m not your epic romance. I’m just the asshole who broke your heart,” Callum finishes feeling like pure shit, but at least it’s out there. No more hiding. 

Marcus isn’t crying anymore, but his face is still red. He just nods, understanding what Callum is saying. He swallows and speaks again in that soft voice that sounds defeated, “Leave. Just fucking leave, I’ll pack my things and be gone in the morning, but you need to leave.” 

“I-yeah, I’ll leave,” he wipes his hands on his jeans and stands, not really knowing what to do. He expected Marcus to fight him, tell him how he’s wrong and that they are the fairytale romance. Tell him that Callum must have just hit his head and is confused. That they’ll talk about this in the morning when Callum is less tired. Beg him to stay like in the movies. Anything. Marcus isn’t one to just give up, but he’s letting Callum go. Just like that. He looks around the room, searching for answers. Should he just leave? Pack a bag? Bring Poppy?

Instead, he does something that has a very high possibility of resulting in a punch to the face. 

He leans over and kisses Marcus’s tear-stained cheek. He doesn’t look back just grabs his bag from earlier. He’s just about to close the apartment door, close a chapter in his life, when he allows himself one last look at the boy he once called his soulmate crying his eyes out holding his dog, “I’m so sorry, Marcus.”

He hears him sob harder, and Callum just closes the door.


End file.
